Uncle Heigan Wants You!
It’s no secret that I am in love with Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft. If Hearthstone was human, we’d own a cozy little bungalow together and be raising 3 unruly children. I’m trying to wean myself off the drug, but the weekly releases of new Naxxramas material isn’t helping. I’m the Michael Corleone of the Warcraft world, getting pulled back in every time I think I’m out [that movie didn't exist -ed.].
This week we get the Military Quarter with three new bosses and 6 new cards to unlock. Are you as excited as I am? Of course you are. Boss discussions after the break.
Our first boss is Instructor Razuvious (a name right up there with Marrrrr and Hector, The Well Endowed) who begins the match with two 0/7 minions with Taunt in play. Not a big deal, because you begin the match with a 1-mana mind-control crystal which gives you control of both minions. Seems a bit strange until you realize his hero power can do 3 damage to any character for only 2 mana. Oh, and he has a 5-damage weapon that does double damage when he attacks you and not a minion. The extra taunt at the beginning definitely helps out.
You can almost hear the writers restraining themselves from adding, “Mwahahahaha”
The next boss is Gothik the Harvester who has an interesting selection of minions. Many (or is it most) of Gothik’s minions have a Deathrattle ability that states, “Summon a Spectral XXXX for your opponent”, with the XXXX being whatever type of minion it is. This sounds pretty cool. After all, you get a Spectral Minion whenever you kill one of Gothik’s minions. Once you actually get one of these Spectral Minions, however, you see it’s not all that fantastic. Each Spectral Minion is a 0/X (X being the health of the killed minion) that does 1 damage to you at the beginning of your turn. If you have no way of clearing your own minions out, you’re in trouble. Couple that with his hero ability of being able to spend 2 mana to draw a card and the battle against Gothik is unlike any of the other battles I’ve had to deal with thus far.
Worst barbershop quartet, ever.
Lastly, we get not one boss, but four. The Four Horsemen consist of a boss in the usual hero spot (Baron Rivendare), with the other three Horsemen starting the fight as 1/7 minions. While any of the minion Horsemen are alive, Rivendare is immune to all damage. Luckily, Rivendare himself only begins with 7 health so this one becomes a race to remove the minions and quickly pounce on Rivendare. His power allows him to draw 2 cards, but at the cost of 5 mana.
The heroic versions are their usual, nearly impossible selves with my favorite bit being the Four Horsemen being immune to Equality, making my Pyromancer/Equality combo that worked so nicely in Normal mode completely worthless in heroic. Ugh.
I’m now more than 1/2 done with Naxxramas. Single tear…
Besides these boss battles we are also given access to the Shaman and Warlock class challenges. All together this unlocks 6 new cards including the legendary Baron Rivendare, which is going to make all these Deathrattle cards fairly interesting.
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