I’d rather spend time in the Pit of Despair
When Owen first tossed me this cookie, I was going to title the post “Inconceivable!” because nothing’s funnier than a 27 year old joke. Then I watched the trailer and I might never use the word “inconceivable” again. Nope, the magic is gone. In 40 seconds they managed to not only ruin the character of Vizzini, but also paint their app as nothing but a cynical cash grab of a beloved franchise. The most shocking news in all of this is that Electronic Arts had nothing to do with it.
So, what does “the official” Princess Bride app bring to the table? Four mini-games that touch on some of the most minor scenes in the movie, that’s what. There are games based on shrieking eels, climbing cliffs, sword fighting Inigo, and wrestling Fezzik. None of these are as exciting as they sound, in fact they’re so shallow and dull that you’ll long for the depth of games like Trexels or Mr. Ludo.
To top it all off, the game costs $4 but you don’t get all 4 games for the entry fee. No, you start with the shrieking eels and have to unlock the other three games or cough up another $1 to unlock them all. That’s not the only IAP, either. You can also buy Miracle Pills (ho-ho!) which allow you to continue if you die.
The best thing I can say for Princess Bride – The Official Game is that it’s an early contender for the 2015 Disappointment of the Year award. Congrats, Gameblend Studios! Watch the trailer after the break, but be prepared to feel the urge to take a shower.
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