What do Shakespeare, Gurney Halleck, Manzinger Z, the Prohibition Party, and rap battles have in common? They're all referenced in this week's post, as I attempt to grapple with a grab bag full of new releases that run the gamut from historical wargaming and tile placement to monochrome (but graphical) roguelike and texting adventuring, not to mention an Insult Generator. I'm a bit dizzy and need to have a lie down, but here are my hands-on first impressions of the games I think you might want to play.
Good deep-space partitions of greenish-yellow gas make good neighbors.
Galaxy of Trian
Interstellar conquest in Galaxy of Trian is a remarkably peaceful affair, involving the mining of nebulae and bloodless wooing of interconnected solar systmes, with nary a photon torpedo in sight. That's partially because you're expanding by creating space itself, placing titular triangular tiles that work a bit like Triominoes. This is just the beginning, however, as Galaxy of Trian takes Eurogame mechanics and layers them into a towering stack of increasingly complex interactions between simple mechanics, becoming a veritable croissant of a game, or perhaps an onion, I’m not yet sure if this one’s rich and buttery or liable to make you cry tears of pain and frustration, but I like it so far. You will need to find other human players, as the AI is good for learning to play and not much else, but this one does have online multiplayer against friends and random matchmaking.
This little gem was released on iOS back in August, but the Android version was finally release this week. Read our iOS review for our thoughts.
I parlayed this setup into "Your mother never watched Star Wars," a cruel dig if there ever was one.
Oh...Sir! The Insult Generator
Truly civility is at low ebb: where once people addressed their mutual grievances to each other in paragraph-length excoriations, impugning each other’s parentage, appearance, intelligence, and aroma in pugilistic verse, now we merely lob short, shriveled-up bits of profanity at each other, like monkeys flinging last week’s poo. Well, no more! Oh...Sir! The Insult Generator features some of the finest invective you will find outside of a rap battle, and builds on it’s free predecessor by adding competent AI to trade barbs with after you no longer have friends to alienate. True, the AI sometimes strings together the kind of incomprehensible but high-scoring word salad rarely seen outside of an American Presidential Debate, but this one is jolly good fun, so go buy it, you twee parsimonious onion-eater!
Try not to insult yourself on iOS or Android. A full review is coming soon.
Медаль «За оборону Москвы»
Drive on Moscow: War in the Snow
Drive on Moscow was a great __game when it was released in 2013, quite possibly my favorite in the Crisis in Command series. Unfortunately, an aging codebase and a series of iOS updates has left the entire collection in danger of becoming unplayable. This re-released version has been rebuilt from the ground up in Unity, and adds cross-platform multiplayer, something impossible under the old architecture. There is a downside, however, as the rebuilt version is capped at 30fps while the old one ran at up to 60. Having played both versions, I can see the difference: If I hadn’t, I’d never notice. In response to user requests, the original Drive on Moscow is being left as-is for existing owners (for as long as it keeps running on iOS), and the Unity version is being offered as a new app. The PC version of Drive on Moscow has additional AI settings that were beyond the capacity of mobile devices in 2013, but we’ve come a long way since then… dare I hope that the advanced AI is coming to mobile?
Generals January and February await on iOS. Read the Pocket Tactics review of the 2013 release here.
Oye gevaldt, I should pay to be cursed?
1-Bit Rogue
1-Bit Rogue is an absolutely minimalist pocket roguelike with an aesthetic that reminds me of the original Dragon Quest/Dragon Warrior. This is a waiting-in-line phone __game that doesn’t ask you to think too hard about strategy, but does contain some interesting surprises, like ghosts that move freely through walls. This one’s absolutely free, with only a single IAP to unlock 3-bit color mode, though teetotalers may be reluctant to take the plunge, as the devs say they’re going to spend the money on beer.
Freeload or contribute to indie liver failure on iOS or Android.
What kind of dragon are you? Go burn down a village or something!
WitchSpring2
WitchSpring was a crafting-focused Korean RPG that apparently was something of a cult hit despite a nearly-incomprehensible English translation. I never heard of it before the release of WitchSpring2, which makes a number of improvements upon its predecessor, most notably sporting an occasionally-awkward but consistently cogent translation. The story is that humans used to worship rabbit-eared witches for the miracles they performed, but after discovering that magical springs were the source of their power, a new religion was formed to seize control of the springs and kill or capture the witches. You play as a young witch, forced into hiding, and do things like train to improve your stats, gather crafting ingredients, go on fetch quests, and chew out dragons for not slaughtering these upstart humans. It’s got a pretty good hook, as games of this type go, as at game start, you don’t know what happened to you human friend, your witch frenemy, or your elders in the war. Some of the art falls into the twilight zone between fanservice and WTF, but this is a game where the humans are the bad guys, and I always approve of that.
Wear thigh-highs, do pushups, and bash knights on iOS or Android.
Another brilliant use of of that totally-real swordfighting technique, spinning in a circle with your arm out.
Arena Quest RPG
Arena Quest is a real-time party battling game in the same general vein as Battleheart. You could call it an RTS, but in it's more like managing a group of MMORPG characters who got stuck inside a defense game: Leeroy Jenkins this one and you'll have no-one to blame but yourself. Positioning characters to take advantage of the completely straightforward AI and timing special abilities are the primary mechanics here, and there’s definitely lightweight fun to be had. A single-dev indie project if there ever was one, the simple art and animations are unintentionally comical at moments, like when a character’s sword arm slides forward to attack and separates entirely from his body: Go! Go! Rocket Punch!
Heal the tank on iOS or Android.
White hair, white eyebrows... oh no, they got Doc Brown!
Lifeline: Flatline
Lifeline: Flatline is part of that franchise’s new “green line” series, so you’re not stuck saving Taylor’s hapless behind again. This series appears to feature a new person in need with each game, and in Flatline that person has been abducted and experimented on, then left strapped to a gurney, and when I say “strapped to a gurney” I don’t mean in a BDSM relationship with the character Patrick Steward played in Dune. This one’s got a 28 Days Later meets Saw vibe to it, and so far it’s got me hooked: I’m expecting a jump scare with every new message. Also, while I haven’t had the heart to go there, some choices make it look like you have the option of messing with Wynn’s head instead of helping out, and then presumably laughing maniacally afterwards.
Be a voice in someone's head on iOS or Android.
Ok, maybe undetaking the liberation of Prospero on turn 1 was a bad idea...
Talisman: Horus Heresy: Prospero
I was lukewarm about Talisman: Horus Heresy, in part because Talisman is so RNG-dependent. That said, the variety of new mechanics in Talisman's expansions are one of that game’s greatest strengths, and Horus Heresy is working hard to catch up to it’s (much!) older sibling. Prospero is the second major expansion for the game, adding the Prospero campaign (mini-board), the Thousand Sons (my favorite Space Marine Legion), and commanders who only draw Incantations, never Stratagems, like my homedaemon Magnus the Red, who gets a free Incantation every turn. Another of Warhammer 40k’s most famous characters, Leman Russ (the cur!) also makes his appearance, and he’s possibly the most deadly Melee specialist in the game yet. I'll admit to a personal bias, but this expansion has brought new life to the game for me. Protip: don't break your staff, you'll need it to channel warpfire.
Expand your grimdark far future on iOS or Android. A full review is on the way soon.
Batman: The TellTale Series
A while back, I wrote about TellTale’s new series, about some “man-bat,” based on a character from an obscure indie comic book: “Detective Comics.” Best I can tell, the protagonist of this game is some sort of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knock-off. In any case, Chapter 3 of Batman is now out on iOS, and this one has jokes in it, or riddles or something? TellTale has apparently just decided that it’s worth bringing this one to Android as well, with the first chapter making it’s debut there. I didn’t make time to play this one because, c’mon, a half-bat half-boy who grew up in a cave? Preposterous.
Nananananana iOS! Nananananana Android!
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